Posts tagged ‘Hair’

I AM my hair…

Chrisette says in this interview what I’ve been saying ever since India Arie came out with the song, “I am not my hair”

Chrisette: “But the truth of the matter is, everyone keep saying to me “I am not my hair”. I AM my hair. Whether I wear long tresses on my head or short naps, that’s me. And when you say something crazy about it or disrespect it, you hurt my feelings. Artists like to make believe that nothing effects them and that they love haters and haters make them stronger. That’s a load of bullcrap. I think that Haters are mean and that’s all that’s to it. So…I am my hair.”



Wedding Hair Update

I’ve decided to to it.  I was scared…mostly of your reactions.  But at this point, I remembered something – this day is about me and what makes me happy.

Before I reveal “it” – lemme share my fears…I thought you all would say I was shallow, that I was a hypocrite or that I wasn’t creative. That I didn’t stand by my committment or that I didn’t think I was beautiful the way God made me.

I’m scared that you all will say (and some of you have said) that I inspired you to be the way you are, so if I go back to the “way I used to be,” I will have let you down…


BUT as much as I’m scared of you people (LOL), I don’t wanna live my life regretting that I made a decision about how I will remember my wedding b/c of fear of what others may think.

SO…I’m getting a RELAXER for the big day.  I know, the SHOCK, the HORROR!!! But I’ve always dreamed of having long beautiful locks….and therefore….I’ma have em!

WITH extensions! LOL.  Before you get your panties in a bunch, I’ve tried ALL options….I’ve worn my hair straight this summer and I have gotten my roots PRETTY DARN STRAIGHT! (See below)

straight hair


straight hair2

And I thought to myself – HEY, I can do THIS for my wedding day!  Shortly there after, I went to a wedding ( the air conditioning)for a friend of T’s.  At the reception, I jammed out a bit, but not too much.  You know, the occasional cha cha side and the cupid shuffle.

Literally, after TWO dances, my hair – INSIDE, IN THE AIR CONDITIONED VENUE, merely have a good time – TURNED BACK INTO AN AFRO!!! Well, actually it was sorta like a 1/2 afro, 1/2 straightened curl on the end.  My hairstyle was ruined, but I was glad…at least this wasn’t MY wedding.

I could only imagine, getting my hair perfectly straight, adding some extensions for volume..and then I would get nervous (I mean, hey, it IS my wedding day) and sweat just a little bit.  Then I would walk OUTSIDE where my wedding and reception will take place (no AC), and the September humidity would have a FIELD day in my hair! Before we said, I DO, my hair would be an afro, with perfecly curled extenions hanging out.  And God forbid, I cut a rug at my reception – Welcome to 1970!!!

Umm, no thank you!! LOL.

and before you suggest braids, a wig, a full weave in my hair or even wearing my afro – I’m going to shut you down.  I don’t like it for myself and I never envisioned that for my wedding day.  So while they’re perfectly viable exceptions for someone else – they won’t work for me 😉

So….in other breaking news.  I actually put the relaxer in this past Sunday.  Lemme just say, they are the devil!! The very reason why I put it in so early, was to give my hair time to adjust! I’ve been natural for almost 4 years, so my hair went into SHOCK when I applied those crack chemicals into beautiful virgin hair.  I got three massive burn marks on my scalp (and I used to always apply my own relaxers and my friends, back in the day, so I KNOW what I’m doing, lol) and my hair looked a bit thinner 😦 the first day.

However, I’ve already gotten it to a nice healthy glow and have added rollers for volume.  So it’s doing it’s thing. I’ve been getting a ton of compliments on my “straightening” job this time…I haven’t had the nerve to break it to some people yet 😦 LOL

The big question is how do I feel…

I feel regular.  That sorta sucks.  I feel Pretty…..Pretty Plain, LOL.  Honestly my fro made me stand out instantly in a crowd (even in DC, the land of the naturals).  I do miss that “OOOOHHHH GIRL, I LOVE YOUR HAIR,” thing I used to have going. 

At the same token, yall know me – I get BORED of hairstyles….QUICKLY. So committing to this natural for almost 4 years was a BIT much for me.  Soooo, it does feel awesome to have different hair 🙂 I’m excited to experiment with new medium length styles and really taking care of my hair with deep conditioners, etc. to get it ready for September 26, 2009 🙂

I’m also anticipating the PWC – POST WEDDING CHOP!!! I cannot WAIT to go short again..some sexy short sassy style, to cement my “maturity” but express my fun side.

Until then…

Rants and Raves…

You know it was coming…

Here’s my update on life currently.  Things I’m happy about and things that make me go “errrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

Let’s start with the RANTs, so I can end on a positive note:

1. I don’t like people who you can’t count on. I utterly annoys me that people in 2009 can’t be consistent OR relied upon to keep their word.  Don’t you think your word is your bond? If people can’t count on you, then what is your legacy?

2. Why is this blasted wedding recession proof? How come most of in the general population have to worry about things that happen in the economy everyday but they get to charge me thousands of dollars on the most RANDOM things??! GRRRRRR!

3. I want to start decorating my apartment with my pooooopie.  must we wait until Sept? LOL.  It all seems so backwards – so suddenly after we’re married, we’re expected to merge everything together?

4. People who have no backbone are the worse. Since when is it cool to let your significant other or lack their of dictate the basic way you conduct yourself? Get a life…and this is coming from a woman who insanely in love with her fiance.  Guess what – You still have to be a WHOLE person,  by yourself, before you can be “two.”

5. I’m ready to put my hair in braids…this “doing my hair thing” has got to go, at least for now, LOL


1. I’m really starting to embrace being a bride.

2. My flowers are absolutely gorgeous and worth every penny…

3. I have a JOB, with BENEFITS in 2009 🙂

4. I go to a dynamic wonderful church and I absolutely want to be just like my first lady and I want my sweetie to be like my pastor when we grow up, LOL.

5. My parents are the most awesome examples of parents and making it look “easy.”

6.  I booked my honeymoon and it was a gift from my sweetie’s grandparents! YESSSSSSSS savings!

7. I’m going dress shopping next week and I cannot wait!

8. I’m excited about being a student in 2010 again 🙂

9. I’m trying to enjoy every phase of my life…even the “getting there” parts!

Hair Meltdown…

All women have it…but all black women that are natural?!? We really get it in more ways than one.  To Relax or not to Relax? That is the question….

I’ve been natural every since 2006.  I cut my hair completely off…the BC (Big Chop).2x11105233

I shed an old relationship, my hair insecurities and everything I’ve been taught about hair ALL at the same time and I thought I would never look back! Well, I definitely moved on in the men department (praise God!) but I see myself slightly turning back to the hair thing, LOL….

My current hair has grown and its as long as it was before I cut it.  Here’s  pic of it not straightened:

1639712(Ignore the girl in the pink, LOL)

and its about this long when it’s straightened:


The problem is – I’ve been on a rampage about how my hair is done, saying such bold statements as I will NEVER put chemicals in my hair again to alter it’s natural state of curliness (pump yo fist in the air…now – ha ha).  I’ve inspired a TON of women to go natural…how can I have second thoughts?  I’ve just always envisioned myself having long beautiful straight tresses on my wedding day. 


 I don’t want to feel natural, bohemian, deep or proud on my wedding day, I just want to feel light, airy and beautiful!

I think your hairstyles say a lot about you…your mood, what you believe in, how you’re feeling about yourself, you’re self-esteem, whether you felt like doing it that morning, everything!!  I mean, literally, when I voted for Barack, I PURPOSEFULLY wore my hair in in my curly bush! with my UNITY colored, “MY VOTE COUNTS” tshirt on!  When I’m feeling funky, I’ll rock my fro, wild and crazy! When I’m feeling chill, I’ll straighten my hair and wear it with a headband.  When I’m feeling elegant, I’ll pin it up and curl it.

Here’s the reason why I’m so stressed about it.  Its going to be hot and sticky on my wedding day and its going to be outdoors.  I DO NOT want a baby afro, when my hair decides it wants to soak up the moisture!! I can get my hair VERY straight, if I want to, but it’s a matter of it taking in the humidity and slowly turning back into the afro you see above!


Soo Sooo TORN!

and I don’t know if want to wear braids – I never envisioned myself with micros on my wedding day….


Any suggestions? I’m thinking about pulling it back and then adding hair, so that it looks like its my natural hair and I don’t have to worry about sweating it out, but I need pics! Perhaps something like this?

updos-bundle-of-joy_full or this?



I also thought about relaxing it for that day only, and then doing the BC (again) the very next day….shooooot, i miss my short hair too! LOL



p.s. thanks to all of my facebook/natural buddies, who’ve helped me out with this, this morning!