MarriageTruths – The EdotPizzle Relaunch

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY ISSSSSSSSSSSS? It’s our ANNIVERSARY  ::singing at the top of my lungs in my best Raphael Saadiq/Tony Toni Tone voice::

In so many ways I can’t believe today is here. The number one question everyone asks me is, “Does it feel like it’s been one year already?” The answer, I’ve found, has been a combination of “No” and “Yes!”

How, you ask? Well, because there were some nights, some arguments, some disagreements, some hard times where I was like, OMG…has it ONLY been 6 months? Or 8 months?

And then there were all of the good times that far outweigh the bad ones where I feel like this year has been a cloud and floated by, almost effortlessly. So it’s been fast and its been slow…all in one.

Despite the tricky combination that I described above – we MADE it! Through what many people consider that hardest year of marriage. Or at least one of the major milestones of the marriage anniversaries…

 During this year, I feel as thought I’ve uncovered some #marriagetruths and busted some #marriagemyths and I felt the need to share how we’ve struggled, overcome and all that came in between.

So…in that vain, I’ve decided to start over…and create a marriage blog.

I created this blog because I felt that there needed to be a voice for young, black married couples. In today’s world we see so much negative emphasis on marriage, fidelity, and even attacks on the ability for black unions to form, much less stay together. I noticed, that even in my peer group, images of young black marriages were present, but we had no place to share and relate. So I figured, why not create that space?! A space where we can glean information from other like-minded couples who face the same struggles we do. I heard that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and now that I’ve successfully completed my first year, I can give you my take on how to make it through the first year (and beyond) and what I learned along the way.

But I’d be stupid to think I have it all…so I solicited the help of several couples I’ve seen making it work in their early years of marriage. I plan on sharing resources I’ve found and highlighting couples who have made it work for a long time and couples who are just starting out, like my husband and I. I pray this will become a place of inspiration, guidance and refuge – as I HONESTLY share my journey and the journey of others with you!

For those who are new to E DOT PIZZLE:

Who am I?

Hi, I’m Erika and I’m a 27 year old married woman. I’ve been married to Terence for 1

whole spanking year.  Our anniversary is TODAY (09/26/09)!

Terence and I met in February 2008 and were introduced by mutual friends.  We dated for 6 months and Terence’s proposed on August 23, 2008 in front of all of our family and friends at his aunt’s home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIgHu7Z78E0

We were engaged for 13 months before getting married.  In the midst of this, we bought a home, one month before we got married. 

https://edotpizzle.wordpress.com/2009/07/30/we-closed-on-our-first-home-yesterday/

 To say the least 2008 and 2009 were two VERY eventful years.  We accomplished so much in so little time and 2010 was honestly the first year we got to BREATH!

 Even in our “breathing,” our first year of marriage was jammed packed with vacations, family obligations, tons of activities with friends and hectic work schedules. 

I will share  some of those in this blog.  Terence will give you his perspective, from the “Man Cave” from time to time, and I will attempt to give you the good, the bad, the ugly and the AWESOME. 

Before I sign off for today, one thing I will leave you with….marriage is hard work, but it’s so so rewarding once you figure out the right rhythm and the correct principles to stand on.  The #1 #marriagetruth © that I’ve learned this year is to KEEP GOD FIRST IN YOUR MARRIAGE!

 Stay tuned…there’s so much more to come!

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I’ve been quiet…

…for a couple of reasons. 

I’m brewing up something new.

Stay tuned for #marriagetruths!

Launching on my one year anniversary, Sept 26, 2010!

Black Bridal Bliss – Wedding Feature

Sooo, I totally wish this website was around when I was planning my wedding.  Nevertheless, it’s here for YOU!

I stumbled upon www.blackbridalbliss.com while I was perusing another favorite of mines, www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com.  They’d featured BBB’s “Tie the Knot Tuesday” couple and I thought hey – I’d love to share some of my wedding DIY items and budget saving tips 🙂 So I shot an email to BBB and here we are a week later!

Check it out!

http://blackbridalbliss.com/?p=820#more-820

Making our house home…again

Sooo – I left off a WHILE ago saying we were going to decorate our great room.  Here’s a bit of a sneak peek and our progress so far!

Now…all I need is a table lamp, hopefully a ceiling fan, an open book-case, and some sort of bench or Chaise lounge to add-on the balcony side .

Here’s a couple of ideas I had in mind:

Of course the Expedit from Ikea would be in brown-black to match the rest of the room and I’m not sure if the bench is too dark or not yet…we’ll have to see.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “I’m cheating on fashion with interior design/furniture”

Not that I’ve EVER been any where near Carrie Bradshaw’s level, but if you see me rocking the same ole clothes this summer that I wore in 08 and 09, LOL – it’s because I LOVE decorating my house and I would rather sacrifice there.

uh-oh…I’m turning into a grown-up!

🙂

Mission Reciprocity – Aborted

Here’s why….

“Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” – Luke 6:28

I got the message 😉 Thanks God!

Mission Reciprocity – Check-in

So…this is a bit harder than I thought it was going to be.  Turning against my innate nature is extremely difficult.  I’m not going to lie, when I first thought about doing this mission, I had some specific people in mind (wishing I could name names, LOL).  Folks that I (or my husband) had extended friendship to and they seemed to go out of their way to disappoint and not extend the same measure back. 

But I’ve noticed ever since I started my mission of treating them like they treat me, I’m having the DARNEDEST time doing it! Its like I cannot stop being helpful, nice, friendly. I will literally have to bite my tounge, in order to treat them the same way they treat me!  I’ve sorta only succeeded with one person in my life, but honestly I’m not sure if I’ve been doing it long enough for there to be a noticable difference (to them anyways).

Grrr @ myself for wanted to see the best in people.  This mission is a LOT harder than I initially thought it would be.  I think I’m not angry enough to pull it off.  Perhaps when someone pisses me off again, it will be easier, LOL.

But alas…I’m not a quitter, I will survive!!! Maybe the lesson to learn in this is not how others will percieve getting treated the way they deserve to be treated, but its actually don’t stoop down to their level.  Its too hard and it’s just not natural in the end???

Hmm…I will forge ahead for now – time will tell!

I AM my hair…

Chrisette says in this interview what I’ve been saying ever since India Arie came out with the song, “I am not my hair”

Chrisette: “But the truth of the matter is, everyone keep saying to me “I am not my hair”. I AM my hair. Whether I wear long tresses on my head or short naps, that’s me. And when you say something crazy about it or disrespect it, you hurt my feelings. Artists like to make believe that nothing effects them and that they love haters and haters make them stronger. That’s a load of bullcrap. I think that Haters are mean and that’s all that’s to it. So…I am my hair.”

THANK YOU CHRISETTE – WELL STATED!