Yes….it’s food.  And. Sex. 

Actually, it’s mostly sex…

In fact – let’s just say, IT’S JUST SEX!

That sounds primitive, I know, but I’ve found it to be so true.  While sex isn’t the ONLY way to your husband’s heart, this is one of the most important.

I will be honest and say I had a hard time with the level of IMPORTANCE my husband placed on sex.  As a woman who grew up in the church, sex is an issue that is usually rarely addressed in the pulpit.  If, it is ever addressed, its rarely talked about as good (unless you’re at a marriage conference, something where most single people aren’t really invited).  We’re told over and over again, to abstain, not to fornicate, etc.

One article says, “Growing up, sex wasn’t talked about very much. Not at home, not with family, and certainly not in church! There, the very mention of the word would have turned ears to scarlet and had the deacons popping antacid pills. Sure, every year the youth group did a “True Love Waits” program, but we never got down to the real nitty-gritty. We dutifully signed cards and pledged to “wait for true love and marriage” – whatever that meant.  Many Christian youth today are in the same rapidly sinking boat. They have plenty of questions, but not enough people willing to give answers. Or worse, the wrong kind of people are giving the wrong kind of answers.  For those getting no answers, sex turns into “This Great Mystery.” (http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11532504/)

Then you DO get married and its like, you’ve never been taught EXPLICITLY, from a Biblical perspective the place of sex in your marriage.  And since its such a hush-hush topic, a lot of times you never know how much it connects you to your mate.

The same article stated it well – “After the wedding, one of the hardest things for young Christian couples to adjust to is the fact that sex is suddenly – okay! All the years of silence on the “forbidden topic,” all the years of feeling guilty for asking questions, all the years of wondering and dreaming, all the years of thinking sex as a “four letter word,” suddenly diminish. Sex is expected, allowed, and not only that, but – gasp – it’s a part of God’s plan! ” (http://www.crosswalk.com/marriage/11532504/)

Fortunately for me, my husband and I began attending a great church (shout out Jericho City of Praise!!) together when we were engaged and throughout our first year of marriage that constantly talks about the subject of sex, especially within the marriage, the way God intended it.  Even being under all of that great teaching and instruction, I STILL had to shed all of my previous notions of sex and now approach it as something that’s enjoyable, something that brings me and my husband closer together and something that we can constantly improve and explore 😉

I was reading the “Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartain and she was saying that a wife’s ministry of sex is extremely important to her husband’s BEING.  I was completely blown away when she put it that.  Sure, sex is nice and it feels good, but being important to his BEING??? That was amazing to me. Eye-opening honestly. I never knew it meant THAT much to them (men).  She said that often, if the wife isn’t ministering to her husband sexually, it can affect his ability to think clearly at work, his decision-making etc.

Even as my husband JUST leaned over and said, “what are you typing about today babe” and I said, “sex in a marriage and how important it is!” He states, “well I’m here, if you need to research…I mean, I’m here, ready..” and starts to laugh (only he’s NOT joking)! This is something that I had really to learn and appreciate about my husband.  He LOVES to express himself with me intimately.  Instead of me saying, “I’m sleepy, ” or “AGAIN??,” or “I’m writing baby,” I’ve learned to love this fact about him and relish our moments of intimacy we have together. 

Not that it was an easy road.  One of the challenges that many young married couples will face is getting on the ‘page’ with the frequency of sex you’re having.  If I can be frank, sometimes he wants it 3 times a DAY and you want it more like 3 times a WEEK!  This is where communication has to be paramount! You have to clearly compromise with each other.  Both the husband and wife should aim to try to please each other more than themselves.  It sounds hard, but it works out so well – because sometimes he’ll give or you’ll give and you can have a sex life where you’re both getting your needs met.

Also, from a women’s perspective, do something to make yourself feel beautiful! I’ve found that when I’m feeling gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, cute, sexy, sassy, etc. I’m much more prone to have a good time with my hubby in a way he can appreciate. 

Lastly, be honest with each other and work on it.  You’re level of intimacy can ALWAYS be improved.  I’ve learned the little things really go a long way.  Once you begin to give to each other, you will see such a change in your couple dynamic and level of closeness. 

I really could go on and on and on…but I will end with this SEX IN YOUR MARRIAGE IS GREAT and it’s really important to your hubby (and you too).  Increase your level of intimacy and watch the results! #marriagetruth

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