sisterswhat is it with us? why can’t some of us find happiness? why can’t we be genuinely happy for each other? why can’t we move on, even when he treats us like crap? why do we view other women as a threat? we do we have hard time interacting with each other?

a couple of recent conversations and interactions with various women that I’ve known over the course of my life has taught me a few things about myself…and women in general.

i found there are very few women who “get it”, who have self-esteem; who have a moral code that they actively follow; who are themselves, despite the circumstances; who are happy, who are sisters/friends/likeable and genuine, and who are COMPLETE.

these things sound like no brainers.  definites.  all character traits and characteristics that you assume most women would have, but i’ve found it to be rare.  when i meet the women who do seem to “get” this, there seems to be a mix of things that have brought them to a place of understanding.

sometimes it’s genes – if your parents are “okay,” then they raise well-adjusted, balanced children.

most of the time it’s rearing – learning to share; working through sibling rivalry; receiving the delicate balance of attention, affirmation, and validation tempered with the correct amount of responsiblity, correction and accountability;  teaching ; and setting an example of treating others by the golden/platinum rule, spirituality, etc.

sometimes it’s life experiences – dealing with peer pressure in high school; navigating successfully through college; a roommate living situation; overcoming hardship as a young adult; learning valuable lessons from your peers or by experiencing it for yourself..

i know for me a combination of all of these things make me: love for my friends to do well; upset if I feel like they’re not happy; strive to get to another level in my life; self motivated; self validated;  not want to settle for less than God’s best for me; well-adjusted; happy; complete, able to love; able to express emotions; able to relate; not perfect – but comfortable in my quest to press toward of the mark;  willing to go the extra mile; want to be excellent;  accept when I fail; fall head over heels in love; passionate; vulnerable; strong;  unique;  and most of all…unapologetically me.

i guess i wanted to start some dialogue to address why this sense of self-fulfillment and self-awareness skipped some of our sisters…what gets missing along the way, where some of us “get” it…and others don’t?