42-22584746I had big dreams of what I would accomplish on the educational front for myself this year.  I ambitiously vowed to take the LSATs, while simultaneously planning for my wedding in the “not so busy” months.  Of course, as you can see, my life has been completely inundated with planning for and buying the house and planning for this wedding.  I’ve immersed myself in all details wedding and all things marriage that I haven’t been about to begin to see outside of anything that does not have to do with that!

I’ve even begun thinking about children! HUH!??! Where did that come from? And WHAT happened to the 2-3 year plan?! I asked myself. 

Personally, I blame the neighborhood, filled with 20-30 something young African American couples who have recently married and 1/2 of which push strollers and cute toy dogs around the neighborhood as the sun is setting. 

And I wonder if they have the key? And am I on this career path that will eventually pull me away from all of the important things in life? I have to honestly ask myself what really makes me happy….and where do I want to spend my hours at the end of the long work day? Putting in MORE hours of OT (even though I’m salaried) or at home, with my large handsome sweet soon to be husband, our future dog, and our not yet conceived children?

The thought of it all scares me actually…so much so that after the flurry has died down, I’m going to sit with myself and think about where I REALLY want to go in life and where is God leading me. 

Wondering if this is all a phase…that I’m just caught up in my new family and these feelings will pass…

Or maybe I’m in a new state of marriage thinking that has brought out something in me that I never knew existed….

We’ll see.

Stay tuned 🙂

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