I’ve decided to to it.  I was scared…mostly of your reactions.  But at this point, I remembered something – this day is about me and what makes me happy.

Before I reveal “it” – lemme share my fears…I thought you all would say I was shallow, that I was a hypocrite or that I wasn’t creative. That I didn’t stand by my committment or that I didn’t think I was beautiful the way God made me.

I’m scared that you all will say (and some of you have said) that I inspired you to be the way you are, so if I go back to the “way I used to be,” I will have let you down…

 

BUT as much as I’m scared of you people (LOL), I don’t wanna live my life regretting that I made a decision about how I will remember my wedding b/c of fear of what others may think.

SO…I’m getting a RELAXER for the big day.  I know, the SHOCK, the HORROR!!! But I’ve always dreamed of having long beautiful locks….and therefore….I’ma have em!

WITH extensions! LOL.  Before you get your panties in a bunch, I’ve tried ALL options….I’ve worn my hair straight this summer and I have gotten my roots PRETTY DARN STRAIGHT! (See below)

straight hair

 

straight hair2

And I thought to myself – HEY, I can do THIS for my wedding day!  Shortly there after, I went to a wedding ( the air conditioning)for a friend of T’s.  At the reception, I jammed out a bit, but not too much.  You know, the occasional cha cha side and the cupid shuffle.

Literally, after TWO dances, my hair – INSIDE, IN THE AIR CONDITIONED VENUE, merely have a good time – TURNED BACK INTO AN AFRO!!! Well, actually it was sorta like a 1/2 afro, 1/2 straightened curl on the end.  My hairstyle was ruined, but I was glad…at least this wasn’t MY wedding.

I could only imagine, getting my hair perfectly straight, adding some extensions for volume..and then I would get nervous (I mean, hey, it IS my wedding day) and sweat just a little bit.  Then I would walk OUTSIDE where my wedding and reception will take place (no AC), and the September humidity would have a FIELD day in my hair! Before we said, I DO, my hair would be an afro, with perfecly curled extenions hanging out.  And God forbid, I cut a rug at my reception – Welcome to 1970!!!

Umm, no thank you!! LOL.

and before you suggest braids, a wig, a full weave in my hair or even wearing my afro – I’m going to shut you down.  I don’t like it for myself and I never envisioned that for my wedding day.  So while they’re perfectly viable exceptions for someone else – they won’t work for me 😉

So….in other breaking news.  I actually put the relaxer in this past Sunday.  Lemme just say, they are the devil!! The very reason why I put it in so early, was to give my hair time to adjust! I’ve been natural for almost 4 years, so my hair went into SHOCK when I applied those crack chemicals into beautiful virgin hair.  I got three massive burn marks on my scalp (and I used to always apply my own relaxers and my friends, back in the day, so I KNOW what I’m doing, lol) and my hair looked a bit thinner 😦 the first day.

However, I’ve already gotten it to a nice healthy glow and have added rollers for volume.  So it’s doing it’s thing. I’ve been getting a ton of compliments on my “straightening” job this time…I haven’t had the nerve to break it to some people yet 😦 LOL

The big question is how do I feel…

I feel regular.  That sorta sucks.  I feel Pretty…..Pretty Plain, LOL.  Honestly my fro made me stand out instantly in a crowd (even in DC, the land of the naturals).  I do miss that “OOOOHHHH GIRL, I LOVE YOUR HAIR,” thing I used to have going. 

At the same token, yall know me – I get BORED of hairstyles….QUICKLY. So committing to this natural for almost 4 years was a BIT much for me.  Soooo, it does feel awesome to have different hair 🙂 I’m excited to experiment with new medium length styles and really taking care of my hair with deep conditioners, etc. to get it ready for September 26, 2009 🙂

I’m also anticipating the PWC – POST WEDDING CHOP!!! I cannot WAIT to go short again..some sexy short sassy style, to cement my “maturity” but express my fun side.

Until then…

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