Archive for June, 2009

Gone too soon…


Words cannot express what you’ve meant to me over the years.  I’ve had some of my FONDEST childhood memories because of you, your family, your legacy and most of all, you’re music.

Gosh…the MUSIC. 

the music!

the music that I had choreographed  a routine to at 3 years old.  I would jam to your music, climb up on the couch arm and JUMP down (the jump was the climax)! And I would do it over and over and over again…

the music…

I wanted to see Thriller so bad, that even when my parents forbid me of seeing it (they said it was soo scary) I snuck over my friends house and watched the whole thing. AND I WAS SO SCARED! I had so many nightmares that Michael was going to come down the attic stairs and “get me” – but I never stopped listening and watching!

the music – do you remember?? when we fell in love? I was young and innocent then…

I remixed songs with my friends – we turned riding into the non-air conditioned church van into a “Rock with you” mix!

“feel that heat…cuz we’re ridin’ in the CHURCH van!”

I remember learning harmonies, to You are not aloooooone…last night it came on the radio while I was driving and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

I became obsessed….in 1992 when the “Jackson 5: the American Dream” came out, I was hooked! I watched it over and over again.  Every time it was aired…

so much so that I found an old VH-S and I recorded it.  This morning…I knew the first thing I had to do was buy that movie – DVD of course 🙂 it is 2009.

Mike, I almost forgot, how we stayed up to watch the premiere of all of your videos – remember Scream was the Most Expensive video to date? I remember wanted to get my hair braided like the girls from Remember the Tme…

I grew up with your music and I feel as though I’ve lost part of the soundtrack of my life.

Thank you for the memories and I don’t know if we could ever thank you enough for you sacrificing your childhood, so that we could be entertained…

I love you Michael and I will NEVER forget you


the MUSIC!



let me encourage you!

have you ever had something go to terribly RIGHT in your life and while you SHOULD be rejoicing in the thing that’s right, something will suddenly knock you upside your head and make you FORGET what God just brought you out of??!!

you find something else to worry about, stress about or panic about??

well – LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU – I’ve been there….today, in fact! And I want to let you know that this is nothing but a test.  God has NOT forgotten about you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  In fact, you should look at this test an a opportunity for testimony!


because without a test – there can never be a testimony.  I want to encourage you that God will never give you more than you can bear and he’s only allowing you to go to this so that he can ultimately get the glory out of the situation.  He remembers his promise to you – just change your position and your perspective – that same mountain that looks HUGE from the bottom, feels like a hill once you look at it from up top!

A good friend told me today 


God does not put us in situations unless he is trying to teach us something, or just to test our faith in him and trust that he will bring you out of anything! Let’s relish in the FACT that no situation is a permanent one regardless of how difficult or long it may seem…

AMEN!!! Be encouraged!

He did NOT bring you out to take you back! He brought you OUT to take you IN!

YESSSS!!!!! 🙂 God is soo good! (whew, I needed that – sooo I figured someone else may too)

Love ya!


Growing Up? Maturing? Or Something Else?

familiesI’ve been having conversations with myself (scary, huh?), friends, my significant other and co-workers…and I wonder, should aging bring about a change in your behavior?

Are there some things that were acceptable, maybe even one short year ago, that isn’t acceptable today?

Or what about a change in status?

I guess what I mean is  – is it okay to do somethings after age…say, 25? Or regardless of age, should things change after you get married? Have children?

My fiance and his buddy were having a discussion about building a bar in the basement of our first home and my first thought was UGH – boys drinking in my house??! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK NO!  Didn’t we grow outta that? We are NOT on the football team, in the middle of campus, drinking Boone’s Farm or a 40! We’re about to be ADULTS, MARRIED, in our HOME where we will raise kids one day! There will be NO BAR, or MINI FRIDGE to keep the bruski’s cold!

Later, they semi convinced me that that bar would be classy and include a wine rack/chiller.  Suddenly, it didn’t sound so crude.  It was acceptable to have a wine cellar in our home…but not a disgusting bar, filled with BEER.

But my reaction made me think about other things – like is it okay to go to the club, after a certain age? When you’re married? Or shouldn’t you be OVER that stuff @ some point? I mean REALLY – should you desire to go to those places?

Don’t get me wrong, growing up doesn’t mean you don’t have fun anymore…but your fun matures. You go to good concerts, great restaurants, wine festivals, lounges that play awesome jazz, spoken word forums, and amusement parks when the kiddies come (or maybe even before they come, like I do, lol). 

I don’t know…I’m at a loss.  I don’t wanna become some old foogie, who has lost all sense of adventure, fun and youth – but part of me, SERIOUSLY believes, some things should be left in the past!

Am I alone?

I am grateful…

for love….not that fake stuff.  REAL LOVE 🙂

1 Corinthians 13 (Amplified Bible)


1 Corinthians 13

 1IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such [a]as is inspired by God’s love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

    2And if I have prophetic powers ([b]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God’s love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).

    3Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or [c] in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.

    4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

    5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

    6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

    7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

    8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([d]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

    9For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).

    10But when the complete and perfect (total) comes, the incomplete and imperfect will vanish away (become antiquated, void, and superseded).

    11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.

    12For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as [e]in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand [f]fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been [g]fully and clearly known and understood [[h]by God].

    13And so faith, hope, love abide [faith–conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope–joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love–true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.

You can take your opinions…and STUFF ’em! :)

shutupSorry guys – but I gotta go on a little rant. 

I’m a respectful person…I feel as though, while you may do something that I don’t necessarily agree with in life – we’re all coming from different places and I respect your right to do something the way you choose to do it.  PARTICULARLY with weddings….

Everyone is coming from various financial places and will tie the knot the way they deem best for their respective situations. 

So…with that being said – I’m OVER people giving their opinions about my wedding.  My fiance and I know how much $$ we make.  We are very aware of our budgets.  We know how much our parents are contributing and while they are giving us a lot of money, their contributions will only amount to approximately 1/4th of our total wedding costs. 

That means we are taking on 3/4ths of the costs.  We are responsible adults.  There are some things that are important to us, like letting our friends and family have a great time.  Its not our fault that we have over 400 close family and friends….just b/c you have less, doesn’t make you better or “wiser” than we are.  Its just the way things are.

Please stop telling us not to do it too “big” – we are big people!!!  We like to laugh, eat and be merry!!! 

 And we like to do it with everyone we love.

You gotta a problem wit that?!?

Yeah…that’s what I THOUGHT!  **bucks at the big mouth losers and walks away with the swole shoulder action**



I’m hungry…

to be a better person.

I’m striving so much for “next level”-ism, that it’s becoming sorta hard to be in the space I’m in.

Maybe it’s a part of growing up? Or a byproduct of being tired of the same ole, same ole…

I’m not too sure. 

What I don’t want to become is something that I detest – an “evolved” former version of my self that’s so “lofty” aka Heavenly minded – that I’m of no earthly good (You know the scripture).  You know the folks…super Christians!! To the rescue!!!

I never want to become so lost in my quest of bettering myself that no one can relate to me…

At the same token, I feel compelled to get outta this same ole, same ole….

So, where’s the middle ground??

I was talking to my supervisor about my purpose and how it sometimes seems so overwhelming. Then she said the most PROFOUND thing I think anyone has ever said to me.  She told me my purpose is to be used by God and allow him to direct my life.

She said to simply say each morning, Good morning Lord – have it so that I be used by you today, have your way in my lift.  Let everything I do today give you the glory…



that’s ALL I have to say!?!

I was amazed! Shoot, I think I’m still in shock!

So, I’m going to stop overanalyzing this thing and just LIVE.  Say my wonderful refrain each morning and start my day 🙂

So today – I made a ton of people laugh at work and that felt good 😉

I am grateful…

for laughter 🙂

The Joy of the Lord is my STRENGTH and I have a TON of JOY!