imagesWe all have them.  Sometimes they make a big splash in your new relationship, other times, it’s not such a big deal. 

What i have noticed is the WAY in which men and women deal with exes.  I know for me, I don’t mind talking about my ex.  To me, it’s a sure sign that I’m OVER them, b/c I don’t mind being completely open and just sorta letting it all hang out.

For my boo, however it’s another story.  He feels like by talking about them, they’re still a relevant part of your thoughts, actions, mindset, etc.  I beg to differ, but whatever, tomato, to-mah-to. 

I guess he tried giving me a dose of my own medicine this weekend b/c he told me that the girl he ‘messed with’ before me hit him up on facebook.  She asked him how he was doing and basically said, it’s been a long time…a year, in fact.  He then responded with, I’m engaged. 

Ouch…instantly my heart felt heavy for the girl (strange right?).  But the woman in me couldn’t honestly understand the feeling of someone telling me that, not only had they dumped me a year ago, but they’ve met someone within that year that they wanted to MARRY! I mean, what would that have done to my self-esteem (even if only momentarily) to hear my ex say that to me.  Or even someone that I was REALLY feeling….

I sorta started thinking about the people that I’ve been involved with, particularly the ones that don’t know I’m engaged right now. Me and fiance literally talked about how it sucks that true love doesn’t care about other people’s feelings.  All we knew was that we loved each other.  We tried to end past relationships cleanly and quickly, as soon as we found each other.  But amidst our honesty and best intentions, some people got hurt along the way.

They say All’s Fair in Love and War – but sometimes that “fairness” can cause a bit of pain.

I acknowledge it, I own it and I’m sorry for anyone I may have hurt…

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