Archive for October, 2008

update….

Updates –
Well…In good news, I got a raise at my job. And I’ve definitely noticed the difference in my checks – so that makes for happy times.
In other news…I SO need to get back to budgeting. I haven’t been actively WRITING out what I have to do.
A good thing is that I’m over 50% to my January wedding goal. YESS! I cannot WAIT to pay that credit card OFF 🙂 Not much longer to go.
In bad news – I acquired two additional expenses, LSAT prep course and the February LSAT.
I guess I’ll be happy in 4 years, after I pass the bar, graduate law school and I’m RICH…LOL.
This adult thing – not so cool. It’s takes an UBERLY LARGE AMOUNT OF DISCIPLINE to manage your money. I’m glad I realized this at an early age though. I’m listening to some adults around me and I realize no one has really taken the proper steps to make sure they don’t end up in the welfare line after they retire….craziness, I tell ya. Perhaps ignorance earlier on in life…but what a horrible way to learn a lesson.
I think I still have friends who don’t invest in their 401(k)…..what do you think will save you? Pension?
Well…that’s enough of my rant. I’m going to go look at my bank account now…

lol

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My way of processing life…

After reading my spbff’s blog, “I believe” I decided to write my beliefs…or my way of processing the world around me.

I wish I was cool enough to think of this on my own, but I’m not…someone told it to me and dared me to find my own set of “filters” to define my life.

Basically the concept is, figure out what’s most important to you and rank those things. Process your thoughts, beliefs, morals and situations accordingly and let the chips fall as they may.

For me – before August 23rd, 2008, my top three were that I’m a Christian FIRST, an African-American SECOND and a Woman THIRD. SO – I filter my beliefs, value system, conflicts, attitude, opinion accordingly. For example, let’s say my girlfriend tells me she’s thinking about cheating on her husband (who’s hasn’t been the best guy all around) because she’s fed up with all she endured in the past and she’s ready to move on. Some woman who are WOMEN first may say – You go girl…get yours.
Not me – the first test is moral – what would a Christian say or how would GOD advise you on this topic – then I would advise her.
Say the topic didn’t have a moral issue. Each topic filters by which of my personal filters means the most or has the most impact according to my hierarchy.
I hope that makes sense…
Well…now my hierarchy has changed (only not really). Now, that I’m engaged – I have to adjust it because I’m now embracing someone as a part of me. So I have to redefine how my hierarchy affects someone else. For the most part it works, only once the boo and I are officially ONE – I have to think what affects my family first. And that’s Biblical, Paul often warned about being married, because when you’re single you can focus all of your energy on God…but when you’re married – you have to consider your spouse and your family needs first.

Corinthians 7
32But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Or the Amplified version:

32My desire is to have you free from all anxiety and distressing care. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord–how he may please the Lord;
33But the married man is anxious about worldly matters–how he may please his wife–
34And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God]. And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs–how she may please her husband.

Paul goes on to say, he’s not saying your cursed if you’re married, but just warning you that things will be different and the way you used to look at things will change from God to the person you’re married to:

35Now I say this for your own welfare and profit, not to put [a halter of] restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and in good order and to secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord.

And it doesn’t just begin the day you say I Do – you basically start almost functioning as one unit because after you make everything official and let people know your intentions, you begin operating as one unit. Everything you do from that point on affects the person you’re with. You share monies for saving for the wedding, making living decisions for after the marriage, jointly decide career decisions, families meet and everything becomes….ONE.

SO my hierarchy has shifted now – to say:
First, how does this affect my family/husband (according to God’s word)? Next, how does this affect my Christianity?
Thirdly, how does my being an African American play into this? and lastly – as a woman, what will this mean?

Call it crazy…but it works for me…

Spendin’, not Pinchin’…..ERRR!

I’ve been pretty bad with finances lately. I’ll be honest. I got this unexpected bill and needless to say, I had to pay it off quickly and I wasn’t counting on it. So I’ve been charging more than I normally do – even my fiance noticed it and was like, “hmmm – credit??”
I wanted to punch him in the face…then I figured it wasn’t his fault that the bill had piss poor planning in it’s arrival, lol.
I blog all of that to say, you never know exactly when bills are going to come out of nowhere, so it’s always better to be prepared and have “extra” money just in case….which leads me to another point.
I’ve been an advocate of budgeting down to zero for quite some time….ever since I was introduced to Dave Ramsey – but now my budget has been SHOT for the past month b/c of an unexpected bill!
I guess I could now factor this new bill into my budget for the next two months.
Either way, I’m still annoyed.
Perhaps I will go back to not accounting for approx. $100 – or I’ll put it to the “blow” category. I don’t want to get caught in this situation again. Grrr…..

And I seriusly need some new clothes – like yesterday. I think I’m going to hit up the mall – I haven’t been shopping since the summer. It’s time for a fall wardrobe!

That’s all….

Making a List, checking it twice…

i got some things i need to do…a ton of things.

so i’m going to set a date of 12/31/2013 to do all of this stuff – 5 years, seems like a complete round number 🙂

i’m inspired by a fellow blogger from college

her list was much cooler than i think mines will be, but I will not be discouraged, lol.

and i’m not going to capitalize anything…b/c lowercase rocks!!! unless i’m referring to GOD – he gets caps boiiiii!

1. get married for under $30,000
2. buy a house
3. have a banging wardrobe
4. get a big promotion
5. get my juris doctor
6. cook at least 5 imes a week for my fiance/husband -when we’re married have hot breakfast on the weekends.
7. lose 40 more lbs – just b/c I want to be the flyest plus size girl on earth 😉
8. put God first, consult him before every major decision
9. read at least 12 books a year
10. finish my book
11. self publish my book, if I have to
12. cabos san lucas – believe it!
13. shop in Italy
14. be more patient….waaay more
15. cruise it – somewhere exotic
16. take at least one vacation a year
17. study the word of God on some form at least 4 times a week
18. pray every morning before work
19. exercise at least 4 days a week
20. bless someone not related to me, tremendously, twice a year
21. join the Praise Team
22. volunteer – community based
23. vote in every election I’m eligble to vote in
24. be good to my hair 🙂
25. sing at an open mic night
26. be responsible
27. develop a stronger work ethic
28. brand myself
29. start my own business

30. buy 3 designer bags
31. keep pedicures in the summer and winter
32. drink at least 6-8 glasses of water a day
33. always remember to keep a 5 to 1 ratio (5 goods to 1 negative)
34. write often
35. buy my parents something fabulous b/c they were the bestamest parents on earth
36. create something bigger than myself
37. live up to Proverbs 31: 10- the end
38. challenge myself to surpass this list
39. love is all we need
40. watch the disney channel, nick or the “n” – never grow up
41. decorate my house the way i always wanted for Christmas – lights!
42. show appreciation
43. tell my parents, “I love you” more
44. don’t sweat the small stuff
45. write/create/draw/collage my vision/hope/dreams of the future
46. be a woman of Action
47. help someone whenever i can
48. eat more sushi
49. hold hands often
50. remember that this is just the beginning