Thank You…

This collection of moments includes the ups and downs of love up to this point in my life.

but Saturday

Saturday, August 23, 2008 changed everything…

When I tell you that love has completely surprised me, know that I’m telling the truth

Everything that I ever believed about love…

BLACK love

changed the day HE entered my life.

I used to think that you had to work really hard for love

that a man could never do something, just because….

well, maybe he could, but those days were few and far between.

I used to think that women’s ideas and goals

were so far from what a man wanted.

And now I know differently.

Now…I know that if you dream of someone who will appreciate and value you for who you really are,

God will send him to you.

It doesn’t matter how many Ishmael’s come – Issac is on his way.

I’m not acting like it did it all perfect.

God knows that I’ve made mistakes and spent too much time dwelling over ones that he didn’t have for me

but I think God for his GRACE and MERCY.

He allowed me to realize that I’m much too important of a person to settle for less than His best.

He showed me that I needed to focus on me.

Get my life in order.

Clean up my house.

BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF.

Learn to love every piece of me.

He showed me that I’m not perfect and told me things I needed to work on.

He let me run away, only to realize that it all came BACK to HIM.

So, I thank God for showing me some things that I wasn’t able to see for myself.

And now He tells me to WRITE it.

To show other women

BLACK women

that if we LOVE ourselves and honor CHRIST – first and foremost

He can and he will give you what your heart desires.

So I’ve changed it all.

My opinions on love

and how it works…

There is a man who will treat you like a queen

and be on the SAME PAGE you are.

Even when I thought it was CRAZY that I KNEW he was my husband on our first date.

I fell in love with him that night at the movie theatre.

God intertwined our thoughts and our hearts both beat the same rhythm.

Some people said our romance was fast and we needed to slow it down…some people even laughed when I said, I found him.

I thought our pace would dissipate because of the naysayers and then you SILENCED them…

with a ring

and three simple words, Will you marry me?

I say three, even though I know it’s four because I SCREAMED, YES YES YES YES YES YES YES !

before you could get that last word out.

God has blessed me tremendously.

Never did I understand his truly undying love for me

until he sent me

HIM.

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED?!?!

Hello blog world – its’ been a long time and a LOT has changed.

Remember that happy interruption that I thought would occur, Oh, I don’t know, NEXT YEAR??!??! Well, my sweetheart POPPED the question in front of all of my closest friends and family (and his closest friends and family) this past Saturday, August, 23, 2008!! Can you believe it?!?!

I’m so overwhelmed with happiness and love. He’s literally made me the happiest woman in all of the earth.

And also the craziest woman b/c now I’m planning a wedding for 13 months from now (tentative date of Sept 26, 2009)

So EVERYTHING has changed – including my financial goals.

My fiance (how cool is that to write) and I are paying for majority of the wedding ourselves, so we’re pushing the house to 2010 and focusing on the wedding for 2009. Our parents are helping, but approx. 65% of the cost is going to mostly fall on our shoulders.

We’re planning a wedding of 250 people, outdoors on a lake, elegant brunch reception and a second reception for the “younger folks” ha ha ha ha.

So this blog will now focus on the new financial goals of my life. Planning this wedding for under $30,000 (I think we can do it for $25,000 or less!); a vigorous new budget for savings, sticking to the budget, and stripping on the weekends to make ends meet. My fiance also said he doesn’t mind selling his body on 14th and K Street, Northwest DC, so I can have that chocolate fountain at the reception!!!!

I kid, I kid 🙂

So – the new goals are….

1. save approx. $800/month (collectively)
2. revive our home based business and collect MAJOR upfront money (which we will invest into our wedding)
3. keep great records to reap our WONDERFUL tax benefits from our home based business.
4. scout opportunities for extra windfall income
5. set savings goals through smartypig and have them deducted from our checks.
6. cut down on excessive spending
7. maintain great credit
8. if we do charge items, set aggressive goals to pay down within 1-3 months

I think we can do it and have something really great to be proud of in the end! I know God will bless our finances to do more than we ever could imagine. We’re both smart, successful, young professionals and we’re capable of living on a budget for 13 months to have a great wedding with little to no debt!

we can do it!!!!

I’m a SMARTY PIG :)

How Cool is this!?!? – I encourage everyone to check it out – its an online program that allows you to set savings goals and it automatically ACH’s it out of your acct. I definitely need something like this to get a jump start on my future planning. Hmm – perhaps I should tell the boo and friends they should get one too 🙂

Housing Update…

(above pictured) me and boo – except my baby is lighter and 6 inches taller. But I look JUST like this skinny, great haired chick, LOL.

So the boo and I go to look the “Model” house I was swooning over in the earlier posts – he was NOT feeling it. At all.

First of all, he kept talking about his precious deck and how he wanted to be able to grill and invite people over (he’s such a man’s man). Then he started in the price – how could we put down $350,000 on a house with no deck?!?

I was feeling him (which is why I wanted to look out in areas that were further out). So I said, well, didn’t you only want to look in Alexandria, sweetie?

He responded with “NO! Let’s try Woodbridge, Fairfax, Southern Maryland, etc.” – I was EXCITED – now we can get some bang for our buck and give the traffic our best commuter faces!

It was a great “discussion” because we ironed a lot of things out. Mainly, that this is a huge investment for me and him and we’re committing to it for 10 years. This means, kids will be born there (are we SERIOUSLY having this talk?!? WOW SCARY!!!) We mentioned public school systems and how we may have to send our kids to private schools, depending on how strong we felt the education was in the area. BEYOND deep – but so informative. Now we really have a clear view of what this is. It’s not me finding a cute condo for myself – it’s our first home…for our family. WHOA…forget I just typed all of that, it sounded entirely too grown up for me to write.

So now – plans have changed – we’re looking more toward the end of 2009, single family home (instead of townhouse or townhouse styled condos), deck, yard, room to grow a family….WOW.

It’s all so deep.

Knowing that I’m the nerd, I found these amazing places. In fact, one of the new communities is being built LITERALLY across the street from the Boo’s basement apartment!

All in all, this is overwhelming, yet so interesting, informative, and we’re learning so much about each other.

I couldn’t think of a better person to learn all of the housing in and outs with 🙂

Weekend 3:25am Credit Check, lol

Pic – is GREAT, lol….This girl is probably going to be me in like 10 minutes, falling asleep, with my laptop on my chest, lol….

I’m trying to decide if making reservations for restaurant week was budget savvy or retarded….

Okay, so of course you know the price point is fixed, because it’s DC’s restaurant week. And for all of those who don’t know, this is cool because you can take advantage of restaurants you couldn’t/wouldn’t otherwise afford because the meals are prices below approx. $35.08 ($20.08 for lunch). So, I booked T and I for a Fondue place, thinking this is a budget’s dream. An affordable meal at a place where I probably wouldn’t go on the regular.

YAY Saving?!?!

Or….is it?

I mean, would I really be making these reservations, if it wasn’t restaurant week?

Has the “man” gotten me with his ploy of “reduced” prices….

I feel like a sucker.

Nevertheless….I’m going after T and I leave church and then later Six Flags (season’s pass – one visit price = a summer’s worth of FUN) and eventually to take part in the last day of restaurant week – yep, they got me 😦

In other news…I saw this GPS Garmin at Wal-Mart today for $169. I didn’t buy it. I still haven’t made up my mind….yet.

I made my hair appt for the Senegalese Twist I decided to get with my lack of car payment/extra income for the month. The hairdresser informed me it was going to be $220, no hair included. But I could buy hair there, 3 packs for something cheap (I can’t remember, her accent was thick and I was at work struggling to listen). I think this is a deal….I’m not sure yet.

But, I don’t have to do my hair for like two months, so I’m thinking, YES, off the top of my head, this is a deal.

I’m also dying my hair back to its natural dark black, so my braids look fresh and last longer. I’m dying it myself, so I’m saving there (I do it all of the time, kitchen beautician, lol). I only had the cost of the dye.

In other news, my credit score has gone up 30 points with Experian since I started this blog – CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? I feel like it’s “the secret,” the power of positive thinking, mixed with a tad bit faith and some ACTION.

My budget – she’s coming along….I think I’ve blown the entertainment budget by about…hmmm…$200.

Ho Hum.

September is my month 😉

I’ll get it right then – that’s all for now!

THREE AM

It’s three am and I can’t go to sleep.

I think its’ because my mind is full, my heart is happy, my mouth is eager to speak.

But my sister is out with my other roommate and my boyfriend is sleeping.

My other roommate is out of town and my college roommate is in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend.

My SPBFF is probably sound asleep because…it is 3 am.

So I turn to one of my very best friends. My thoughts.

I realized today that I am happy with my thoughts, even though they scare me at times.

And the only reason they scare me is because they’re tinged with reality.

A reality full of favor, blessings, slight insecurities, overall exuberance, clarity and partly cloudy skies…

My last post, I exclaimed, I AM ME!

and I am 🙂 so happily me…

What a great feeling to have….even with it’s 3 am in the morning.

I think AM means, in the morning – but somethings you have to write out twice…for emphasis.

I’m happy that I am not at odds with myself. I think that true acceptance of each flaw, each quirk is the true essence of happiness….

Realizing that you may not have all of the answers, just a lot of gut feelings…

and blind faith – its enough 🙂

I think that’s all for now….

There’s so much more I could say – but some things, you have to let tickle the corners of your heart and mind only.

I’ll relish that part of me

and let no one see 🙂

GOOD MORNING!

This weekend’s budget cruchin’

So this weekend passed and I didn’t do anything too crazy to blow my budget.

Friday night, I asked the boo if he wanted to go out and he was like, this weekend’s going to be crazy (Saturday night, Yacht Party for the SPBFF’s boyfriend and Sunday Wedding for two College friends) so we stayed in, used our OnDemand and watched like 3 movies. We did order take-out, but that was MUCH cheaper than a night on the town in DC. Great job T for reigning us in for the evening 🙂

Saturday Morning we took the metro (cheaper than gas) into the city for the Stone Soul Picnic (FREE entertainment) with my baby sister, T’s good friend from Boy Scouts and his Fiance (this is the couple for the the Jamaica trip I referenced in my earlier postings) . Instead of buying the marked up vendor food, we went to Chipotle for lunch/dinner.

I did by a pair of Franko Sarto wedges for the party but they were on sale for 59.95 at DSW. And I almost bought another pair of brownish shoes for this wedding I was going to, but opted not to when I remembered I had a pair of brown peep toe shoes with a gold buckle that would match my dress and purse that I was bringing. I was VERY proud of ME 🙂 LOL.

I also saved by staying at my parents house (2/3rd of the way closer our venue) vs. getting a hotel in the the area. AND my two girlfriends, Ferg and Halle helped out with gas!

So – I was EXTRA on the budget grind and was MOST proud of myself.

That’s about all for now 😉

I am me….

I am comfortable.
Being Me.
I am completely at ease with who I am.
I think that is a profound statement
Considering many people are struggling to figure out who they are.
I say, I am a lover.
A companion to a great man, who loves me for who I am
Embraces the things that make me different
Love the curves, the lumps and bumps, my body
Tells me each day that when I open my mouth to speak
He falls deeper in love with me.
I say, I am a friend.
Not the best friend…but I try to do what I know is right.
Sometimes I get it wrong. At times, I know I’ve said hurtful things…
Mostly out of love, but perception, is, in fact, reality.
But I see the best in my friends. I want them to be their best.
I have their best interest in heart. So I learn…
I learn to shut up and to realize sometimes the best thing you can do it listen
and hope they make the best out of their lives.
And if or when they ever need you…make yourself available.
Loyalty, Honestly and Dependability – I am a friend.
I say, I am a sister.
Maybe I try too hard to make sure you don’t fall in the same traps I did…
Can you blame me? I just want to make sure you’re better than I am.
I am the best sister in the world…I’m not bragging, it’s true.

This must be how a mother feels…except without the child birth.
I am most proud of you and who you’ve become.
I am to you, what I wish an older person was to me – and I’m good at it.
Aren’t you glad…
I say, I am larger than life.
Its taken a long time to TRULY embrace myself. My words, my actions, my body, my hair.
Everything that makes me grand, big, loud, large…and I like it.
Fabulously, effortlessly, wonderfully bigger than you can ever imagine.
Healthy, Actively me.

I may not be under 5’3 or weigh what society tells me…
but I am beautiful
I say, I am pretty….beauty is not defined by what Eurocentrics think or tell me.
What shown on videos, magazines or TVs.

Beauty is twisting my hair,
two strand twists,

so when I make up in the morning my Afro is FIERCE!

Sun kissed golden brown skin, bright smile, pink lips,

large eyes, large thighs, medium bust, big hips…

I am sweeeeeet.

I COMPLETED TWO GOALS!!!

So – I finished two of my goals for 2008!

That’s quick – this girl is good 🙂

I completed my August Budget. I guess this isn’t completing the WHOLE goal, because I have to be diligent throughout the year and make sure I CONTINUE it monthly. But I did my monthly duty! I have approx. $322 left with no where to go. No assignment. I could just BLOW it all and stick it in my “BLOW” category. Or I can up my gas and my food, since I know I have to travel a lot for the rest of the month. I also haven’t added in my commission check from Noni (my home based business….EVERYONE should have one – but that’s another blog) because I don’t know how much it will be until August 20th. So..I will probably have approximately $600 with no home. I think I will put 1/2 of it to increase my emergency fund and the other half to future planning (house down payment and other stuff).

Or should I get that GPS that I want and then put the rest in savings (more into emergency fund or future planning)?

AHHHH decisions….

So my budget is going to be a work in progress this month, I guess.

The other goal, I got all of my credit cards balances under 10% of their available limits!! In fact, all of my cards are paid off except one – and it’s right at 6%. YAHOO! The dilemma of course is should I pay it off COMPLETELY?

I think I’m going to lean with NO. Since I’m trying to buy my house next year, I’m trying to prove to the credit lenders that I can be responsible with debt over time. My interest rate is really good on this card. Therefore, I will pay $10-15 over my MMP each month and just slowly pay down the balance. So my score will BOOST sky high. Zero balances on a lot of cards sometimes makes you look bad because it says, I have so much credit available, I could put myself in a situation that I cannot get out of.

Okay – I’ve talked myself into this scenario now…I think I can live with it, LOL.

Random tidbit:

I’m such a nerd…I got on my computer at 2am and checked my three credit scores through my monitoring service….UP 4 more points!! yesss….LOL. Yes – I’m a geek – I’ve already admitted it.

It’s a GREAT day 🙂

I got my own money ;)

Okay, day..ummm 4, still no budget.

I know, I know, I suck. I’m going to do it today. Things aren’t that hectic, so I should have time to squeeze it out between document review. I’ll keep you posted 😉

I thought I’d jot down some of my KEYS TO SUCCESS…since I’ve been driving down the road to financial improvement (what a dork, I am…I know).

Its just a list of things that have helped me to majorly improve my personal finances. You ready? Here goes:

a)Establish an emergency fund, in a liquid account (something you can access freely) but not too liquid – like an ING account. You’re emergency fund should be approximately $1000 to start off with. Then you can increase it to 3-6 months of your monthly expenses.

b) make a monthly CASH FLOW PLAN (or Monthly Grind as us cool folks like to call it) and plan out where EVERY penny goes – it should all be accounted for (ha ha…even though I haven’t finished this for August)

c) pay all credit cards, loans, and any other thing reported to the Credit Bureau ON TIME…no ifs, ands or buts about it.

d) have a little money each month that you BLOW…but plan for it.

e) budget in the things you like into your budget, otherwise you’ll go crazy…

f) credit cards (this is if you’re trying to improve your credit score) – there are things you can do it change it. One is keep your credit cards below 35% of the available credit limit. This will significantly boost your score, if you do it (TRUST ME); Remember to pay your cards on time; never close your oldest card, this shows you have a long history of credit. Sometimes TIME is the only thing that can improve your score; and lastly, have a healthy mix of revolving loans and credit cards. Remember – many inquiries over a short period of time can reduce your score. However, when shopping for cars, credit inquiries within 14 days for the same type of loan are only considered “1 hit” on your report and won’t lower it too much.

It sounds so boring, doesn’t it? But it’s true…and the only way to improve your scores is to be patient, diligent, consistent and timely. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your credit score, it could possibly RUIN your chances and getting what you want out of life.

Personally, I’ve lived a life where my credit history was limited and life is NOT as good as it is when your history is longer and better 🙂 I used to get that dreaded feeling when it came to credit. Life is much different on the other side…trust me 🙂 There are perks to being part of this club and benefits that you want to take advantage of.

I’ve now come to the conclusion that I’d rather pay for things in CASH…credit’s fine and dandy and I understand that’s how the world works, but having little debt has made my soul soar! I know I differ with a lot of people when it comes to that, but when you finally get financial peace – you can dig what I’m saying…..Word..or whatever…

Goals for myself…

I was reading my home girl’s blog and I had already started a draft of goals, but I figured I should just incorporate them into my “tips” blog.

I’ll do them by year I guess….

By the end of 2008

1. pay off all credit cards to 10% or less (all of my cards are at 0%-20%)
2. save $5000
3. contribute 10% to my 401(k) (I’m currently at 7%)
4. pay $125/month for my Jamaica vacation
5. update my monthly budget as needed

2009

1. complete FM class for my $12,000 housing benefit
2. save $10,000 – total of $15,000
3. pay off Jamaica vacation by April 16, 2006 – save additional $500 for spending
4. BUY A HOUSE BY YEAR’S END 🙂

I guess that’s all for now – of course I have to update this all…b/c I will probably be planning for the ‘future,’ whatever that entails (da dum da da…girls/guys lined up shortest to tallest, lol). But that’s a WHOLE ‘nother blog within itself. For now, I will focus on me and my immediate goals and you know my theory, if Mr. Prince Charming aka T decides to Happily Interrupt – I’ll be ready….

In the meantime, I’m getting my house in order. What type of woman are you, if you don’t have something to bring to the table? Just as I expect my boo to be financially equipped and savvy…I demand the very SAME for myself!

All the women, who independent – THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME!!! – Beyonce (and ‘dem)

Foreign Land….

your words have moved me to an unfamiliar space
somehow a reassured confident woman is now nervous….
I’m not sure how to occupy this brand new place

scared, butterflies, fear of the unknown
isn’t that how you put it the other day?

20 something year old black man – why is it hard being grown?

never knew that the thought of the big day
would make you feel the opposite of me
invoking fear of flight – that’s what you say

i placed you on a pedestal, that no other man has been
confident that my prince charming never knew the meaning of cold feet
but one moment of honesty, much to my chagrin

i see you strong, tall, large, grand
commanding, deep voice, intense gaze
big hands

nervous of what, making a happily ever after come true?
scared of obeying God’s command?

i didn’t know whether i should cry or write
should I be happy your honest, should I run for cover
take flight?

i write the happy things, the love things,
never been inspired much by tears
guess there’s a first time for everything
even if hasn’t happened in years…

you’re just man
i put my confidence in Christ

just give me a chance to heal
just as you prayed for us last night

you held my hand, kissed my fingers
asked God to reveal to me you’re only human.
you’re just scared about changing my life forever
Making sure we are a success, not ending in ruin…

but a part of me you changed last night
i just need a bit of time
to adjust to seeing you in a different light

a man
pure and simple
capable of making a mistake

a man
young and single
nervous about the future
confident in his love for me

a
man

the
man
God
sent
me…

House update and Check Orders….

Its the DREADED Monday morning. UGH! I’m sitting at work, looking over this case log – which is semi-interesting…or NOT….

Rent’s due tomorrow and I just realized I ran outta checks. I was at church, writing out my offering, when I realized, this is my blasted last check! I have my “check box” at home, so I thought SURELY, I have some there….but I was sorely disappointed when I went to the box and realized there was NOTHING there. So now I’m on my retarded credit union site, trying to order newer checks. I guess it’s off to the bank today to get a cashier’s check for my rent so I’m not late.

In other personal finance news – I went to the open house this Friday. The house was BEAUTIFUL…and they had these special rates – I almost bought the daggone house right then and there. Luckily my roommate was there to stop my impulse house buying, LOL. The neighborhood was SO cute and the house was so nice! And so affordable! I told the guy I would be SERIOUSLY looking in 8 months…and he seemed pleased with that. I also put my father down as my real estate agent to ensure Daddy-O would get his 3%.

I still have to do my budget. It needs a bit of tweaking….wish me luck!

BUDGET….AHH!!!!

Its the beginning of the month…and I guess I should sit down and budget.
FUN!
Well – the SPBFF, Lil’ D (she’s really small yall, like NO joke) made this wonderful Excel spreadsheet that I’m officially obsessed with called the Monthly Grind. I use her RELIGIOUSLY. Someone actually suggested me using another sheet just for comparison sake….I think gasped – then promptly asked them to leave my presence.
The FOLLY of it all!
Anywho…I did my “projected” budget for the next 6 months. But of course, each month is different and I gotta add the “new” things.
#1 It’s Momma Bear’s birthday and my parents anniversary. Which means gifts. Especially for my mom…who is off the chain and will pimp slap you, if you dare enter her house without bearing gifts during any major holiday. She mentioned she wanted a gold watch…whatever that means.
#2 It’s time to put a airfare deposit down on our Jamaica vacation for May 2009. T’s homie is getting married…he’s the best man – I’m COMINGwith! lol.
#3 I got stranded in the airport for work related training and got a day of OT for my trouble – so I have to add that in
#4 My car got refinanced since my “I just graduated from college so give me a car” program ended and I had to use my regular credit score apr instead of my wonderfully cheap 3.2% APR. I get a month off my car payment, which means an extra $375!

Yeah…so I gotta rework some things – add a few buckaroos here and there and make subtractions in other areas.

I use the Dave Ramsey principles, only sorta halfway. I budget to zero – every month. I think now with my new housing goal, I need to make another savings account for my down payment. Grrr….this is requiring too much reworking.

PERHAPS I should scrap my previous budget and try try try again.

I’ll save that for tomorrow. Its time for bed 🙂