Part of me wishes you would’ve fought harder to win me back. Wishes you could’ve realize the gem you had in front of you. I was that person who held you down when no one else had your back. Showed you your potential, helped you become a man, but I guess that wasn’t enough for you to fight for me. Even when you hurt and betrayed me, I came back and showed that I would be loyal in the midst of anything – yet and still, it wasn’t enough for you. I tried to be your friend, grow with you, wait for you, but I cannot wait my entire life for you to become something that you may never be. Part of me is pissed off b/c I spent so much time trying to turn this coal of a relationship into a diamond – but Baby….I just can’t take all of the pressure and heat necessary for this thing to change into something beautiful…I’m not built for that kind of pain and hurt. That sad thing is I don’t think you see what it is that you’ve done to me. And maybe you don’t see it b/c God has spared me the feelings of bitterness and distress. He showed me who I am in Him and I don’t have the base my self worth in the fact that you treated me like the dirt beneath your feet. Even in the midst of all of this, I can still say I love you…but that’s neither here nor there. Thank God, my heart has healed and this is the last bit of closure I need. You say, Teach me to love???? I cannot teach what hasn’t been learned at this point, especially if you aren’t willing or ready to learn. Like I said in an earlier blog…it’s TIME OUT for missionary dating…
It’s time for me….
So this is my farewell to pain, hurt, misunderstanding and drama.
I don’t need it anymore…and I certainly won’t take it from matter HOW much I LOVED you.