Current mood: Blessed Category: Blessed Religion and Philosophy
As much as I tried to run away from you, to find joy in other things…I could never deny my first love.
But now, I’m no longer running from you – you gave me no choice. You loved me when I didn’t know I was worth loving..you showed me my beauty – you saw the best in me – even when I couldn’t see it in myself.
So – I’m pretty sure I’m done running from you – I’ve accepted that you’ll always have a permanent place in my heart and I know that I have to change to be the person you need me to be.
I’ve come to that state of ultimate realization…I can’t hide for you anymore. You make me see myself for what I really am. That’s why I’m scared of you sometimes. And even when you reprove me you do it in such in tender, caring way, that it makes me feel guilty for running in the first place.
and it brings me back to you…
all of this time I thought the quarter life crises I was going thought I was going through was just a part of life – I never realized that it was b/c i didn’t have you anymore…at least we weren’t tight like we used to be and I wasn’t relying on you to be my…everything..
But now, i’m here, I can’t dodge this thing anymore -this love thing, this real thing, this true live connection thing – that i share with you and no one else.
You’re the one who had my back when no one else did, and protected me even when I didn’t realize that I was under attack…words cannot express the way I feel…
so i guess I’ll keep typing until what I say matches up with this butterflying feeling on the inside of the gut of my stomach…
so this is what revelation feels like? it’s scary, but exciting – to know that I can’t live without you and before it sounded so corny and cliche – but now I know that I can never leave my first love…
so I’m right back where I belong – in your arms where I have the peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for keeping me through this and showing me that all roads lead back to you…..
amen
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